Anyway, here’s the deal.  I was on the phone with Ryan.  I’m going to Buffalo shortly for a job interview.  After dissing my current work predicament, Ryan stated that my job interview will be “A New Hope.”

I responded by laughing and saying, “Danos Episode IV:  A New Hope.”

Then… it struck me.  A vision.  My life has been quite like the Star Wars films.

Well… not really.  That’s a pretty big stretch.  I don’t know any creepy old guys with British accents, and I’m not a whiny farmhand who lives with his Aunt and Uncle.

I did, however, come with with, “Danos Episode I:  The Child Menace.”  I was a bit rowdy as a kid.

Then, of course, came “Danos Episode II: Attack of the Teachers.”  I loved making my teachers lives hell, right around fourth grade.

Fast forward a few years like the movies, and all of a sudden, we’re up to “Danos Episode III:  Revenge of the Bitches.”  I came up with this because of all these girls breaking up with me left and right.

Buffalo (or Texas) really is my new hope.  It’s a fantastic opportunity for me to get out of the OC.  I don’t want to live here anymore.

What do you think Episodes V and VI could be?

Right?

Oh yeah… I did say that.  A lot.  Well, the mood struck me today.  The systems were down at work, and there was not any conceivable way to work without our systems.  If we can’t see our systems, we can’t see what’s wrong, now can we?  Heh heh.

So while the systems were down, I decided to start a project for this blog that I’ve been considering for quite some time.  Okay.  A few months at best, but still…

The project?  Bad poetry.  I’m not a writer.  I’ve never claimed to be a writer.  So… I decided to write some bad poetry.  They’re all haiku.  Why haiku?  Because it’s the only type of poetry I know the name for.  Three lines, Five Syllables, Seven Syllables, Five Syllables.  It’s generally a beautiful thing.  And then I got a hold of it.  Here below, is some of my bad haiku poetry:

What is the reason
That we hurt the ones we love
Greed?  Money?  Lampshade.

Every Thursday
I get the spaghetti at
Route Sixty-Nine.  Yum.

Cave Story is fun
You play it as a robot
Good music too, man

Despite my laid back
Nature I like to wear ties
I think they suit me

I really like it
You know… the thing… that guy there…
What’s his name again?

I wonder if, uh…
You could bring that thing over
I really need it.

I think it’s time we
All sat down and had a few
Beers.  It’s relaxing.

Mystery Science
Theater Three Thousand Rules!
The Best Show Ever

Is there a reason
That we haven’t bought a car?
Gotta get around!

You’re an ass, Dan.  Yeah?
Yeah.  You are.  You’re such an ass.
Yeah, I know I am

If we didn’t eat
How would we know how good stuff
Like Mexican tastes?

Indemnities are
Little pieces of paper
We stick on our checks

The Burrito Place
I go to in Buffalo
Makes quite tasty food

…if I were so inclined.

Ryan is embarking on his 2008 World* Tour soon!

*”World” to Ryan means Seoul, South Korea and Various Girly and non-Girly Parts of Japan.

Thanks, Ryan!

So I’m enjoying a nice Saturday afternoon in my kitchen, listening, as the title would suggest to Ben Folds Five’s “Whatever and Ever Amen,” one of my all-time favorite records.  It’s such a great record, but it’s probably third of four on Ben Folds Five’s catalog behind “The Unauthorized Biography of Rienhold Messner” at number one and the self-titled debut, “Ben Folds Five,” at number two.

Whatever And Cover Amen

Of course, this changes on a daily basis, specifically right now.  I liken Ben Folds to the Star Wars movies.  Which one is your favorite?  The correct answer is, of course, The Empire Strikes Back, but for me it’s usually whichever one I’m watching at the moment.

That’s how I tend to feel about Ben Folds and his music, pre- or post-Five.

But it made me think…

If I had to rank the records, how would I go about doing it?  I think I’d have to break it down into eras.

• Ben Folds Five
• Ben Folds Solo Albums
• Ben Folds EPs / Live Albums, Miscellany

So…

For Ben Folds Five, my order would go as such:

1. The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner
2. Ben Folds Five
3. Whatever and Ever Amen
4. Naked Baby Photos

Now… I’m not saying Naked Baby Photos is a bad album by any means.  In fact, I love it.  Goofing around doesn’t get any better than “Satan Is My Master.”

Reinhold is just such a fantastic record.  Arranged strings, beautiful harmonies, and many other instruments you just don’t find that often with a three piece band.

For the Ben Folds Solo Albums, my list looks thusly:

1. Rockin’ The Suburbs
2. Songs For Silverman

Woah.  I guess that’s it.  I’m anxiously awaiting “Way To Normal” coming out at the end of September.  I’ve heard a few songs due to the leak, and they’re just awesome.

Rockin’ The Suburbs brings such fantastic tunes as “The Ascent of Stan” and “Losing Lisa,” arguably two of my favorite songs Ben has ever written.  Then of course, there’s “Not The Same,” a concert favorite, due to involving the audience in the three part harmonies.

Songs for Silverman is to Rockin’ The Suburbs as Reinhold is to Whatever and Ever, yet, I rate Suburbs higher than Silverman.  I honestly don’t know why, but I just feel a constant need to reiterate that because it’s second, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love it.

“Landed,” from Silverman, is one of the best break up songs I’ve ever heard.  Listening to the beginning, I’ve often come close to crying.  No!  Really!  And the end of the song puts me in a much better mood.  It actually makes me feel hopeful.  How a song can make you feel two very different things over the course of three minutes or so is something that should not be overlooked!  I go from feeling down at “We hit the bottom/I thought it was my fault/and in a way I guess it was” to a hopeful and happy attitude at “Down comes the reign of the telephone czar/it’s okay to call, I will answer for myself.”  I can’t think of another song that makes me feel that way.

“Bohemian Rhapsody” comes to mind.  Yeah, well, listening to the lyrics, I tend to be upset throughout, yes, even through the “rockin” parts.

That just leaves EPs, Live Albums, Miscellany

1. Sunny 16
2. Songs For Goldfish
3. Speed Graphic
4. Super D
5. Ben Folds Live
6. SuperSunnySpeedGraphic the LP

Sunny 16 gets the nod simply for “There’s Always Someone Cooler Than You.”  The title of the song alone is a fact.  Think about it.  Think of the coolest person you know.  Now, there’s got to be at least one person in this entire world who you think is cooler than them.  For me, whenever I try to think is cooler than someone I know, I always get stuck on either Bill Murray or Jack Nicholson.  I can’t decide which of those two is cooler than the other, which I guess means they’re each cooler than the other!

Goldfish goes second.  Yeah.  It’s mostly a compilation of live songs that we’ve all heard, um, a million times before, but it’s Ben’s cover of Lucinda Willaims’s “Side of the Road” that gives it a big bump.

Speed Graphic is number 3 because of “Give Judy My Notice” and “Protection.”  Judy is another one of those fantastic break-up songs, and Protection just plain and simple rocks.

Super D comes in at number 4.  My favorites are “Adelaide” and “Kalamazoo.”  Adelaide is Ben’s love note to the town he was living in at the time, and Kalamazoo is a haunting tale.

Number 5 Is Ben Folds Live.  I had to rank it kind of low, because it’s just Ben and his piano, which is absolutely great, but sometimes, I just want to hear the entire band.

I actually didn’t purchase number 6, Supersunnyspeedgraphic, The LP, because it’s just a compilation of the three LPs, so it automatically gets ranked at the bottom.  However, it is a fantastic way to (legally) obtain Ben’s cover of Dr. Dre’s “Bitches Ain’t Shit,” a song that has recently been retired from live shows.

So… there it is.  My Ben Folds album rankings.  Were someone to ask me to combine the list into one uber list, I don’t think i could do it.  i love all of the records, and doing this much has pained me!  Ow!  My knee!

Wait… why does my knee hurt?

Anyway, maybe one day (I’ve learned not to say “in the next post”) I’ll rank the indivdual songs on the albums, but don’t bet on it!  :D

I’m now going to go make tacos for lunch.  That’s right.  Lunch.  Yeah.  I went there.

Coffee… is my best friend in the world.

We have a symbiotic relationship.  I give coffee money, and coffee gives me awake.  Oh.  Coffee also gives me good flavor.

Dammit!  Now I’m in coffee’s debt!

After that whole bit, I looked around a little itty bitty bit and bought myself some chai tea. Ah, chai tea. I have friends who enjoy tai chi. I always respond by telling them how I like chai tea. In fact, I think I’ll make some now. Good stuff, that chai tea.

I also took a quick tour around the store, stopping in the electronics department to laugh at the fact that there are still Playstation 3s for sale. No body wants the damn thing (though, that’ll prolly change in a few weeks when Metal Gear Solid 4 comes out). I also walked through the Nintendo section and saw a few things that I would like to pick up, but I have some other financial obligations to absolve first. Specifically, at the end of the week I’m going to the Buffalos for a wedding. Anyway, I was looking at Pokemon Mystery Dungeon for the DS. Also, Shiren the Wanderer for the DS. Essentially, they are the same game, one with cutesy pokey mans, the other with a gruff silent-type as a protagonist, where the majority of the game’s story takes place in the opening cinematic scene. I’ve been digging the Roguelikes, lately, thank you very much, Jeremy Parish. I (illegally) downloaded the Pokey Man Mystery Dungeon game that came out for the Game Boy Advance Recently. It’s fun, but like I said, it’s cutesy.

I also was about this close to buying Crosswords DS or Lego Star Wars for the Wii, but that’s about when I remembered my financial situation.

So, tail between my legs, I head out, pay for my chai tea, and head on home. I enjoy a little time to myself, download a couple of podcasts, copy them on to my iPod, hop in the tub and enjoy a good long soak.

After that, I made myself a nice ghetto lunch of Grilled Cheese, deleted a couple of things off of my Will and made this blog post.

A relatively uneventful day, sure, but hey.  I’m at the most boring part of my life.  No TV to talk about, what with having the cable shut off.  A waning interest in video games, though they were quite adequately covered in this post.  No local friends, per se.  It’s just kind of a “waiting for something to happen, then thinking if I want to involve myself in said happening.”  I wish the weather were better.  I’d be spending this entire vacation out side, but it’s still only in the 50s.  This is the worst pre-Memorial Day week ever.

I’ve been removing a few things from my life lately. I removed an entry from this blog. I’ll prolly remove a few more. I removed a ton of links in the blogroll, mostly because they’re never updated anymore. The ones I left? Well, they’re never updated, either. I removed cable TV back in September, October. Suprisingly, No TV, No Beer does NOT make Dan something something.

I removed a couple of things from my Wii. I wanted to try Wii Ware, so I had to get rid of the useless “Check Mii Out” Channel, as well as the much more useless “Metroid Prime 3 Preview” Channel. I deleted a ton of save data for games I’ve rented. After all of that, I barely had enough room for “Lost Winds.” It’s okay. I was under the impression that it would be a bit “Metroidvania,” and it kind of is. It’s just not as fun as the series that originated the term Metroidvania. I’m not so sure it was worth the 1,000 points, either.

There are a few more things I need to remove from my Wii.  Non-save data related things.  My apartment definitely needs a few things removed, too. I’ve thought of removing my myspace a couple of times. Once, I even tried to do it. I couldn’t figure out how to do it. Maybe the only way is to “zero out” all of the information.

I’m on vacation. It’s the end of May. I have always taken this week for vacation, the week prior to Memorial Day. Right now, it’s 40 degrees, windy, and rainy. It’s never like this on this week. If I could, I would remove this bad weather.

And, no, I’m not talking about my piss-poor photo editing ability. That’s another topic for another time.

Fuckin’ Classmates.com Fuckers are incapable of basic math. Look at the picture on the left. Sweet 16. I would guess, and this is solely a guess, that based on the hair style and clothing, that this picture was taken in 1987. Fast forward twenty years to 2007. That would make a person “thoughtful 36″, not a “shitty 60″ as depicted.

It’s simple math. Classmates.com… go fuck yourself.

Love, Dan.

I remember I used to start and end every day with a blog post.  Well, I’m doing this as a sort of placeholder to force myself to update later.

Short story to be updated later:  A fortune cookie is responsible for stubbing my toe, leaving me a cripple!  Holy crip!  He’s a crapple!  We’ll leave it at that for now.  Update coming later.  I have to work!  ^_^